I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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