At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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