so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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