You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Your mouth is God's brothel.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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