Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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