he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
