i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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