you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
