Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
