If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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