Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
We are two peas in an std pod
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
