3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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