Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
