I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
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Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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