Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
