omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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