What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
