No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
it glows. i had to have it.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
