mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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