so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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