OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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