I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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