I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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