3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
