My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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