I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
