'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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