about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
