i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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