I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
