So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
