What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
bring money and cleavage
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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