he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
