Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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