ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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