I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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