Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
