You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
