I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
