Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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