I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
