even my farts smell like vagina
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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