my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
