I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
