If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
cat food counts as protein by the way
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
