So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
