I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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