Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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