It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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