this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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