There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
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