that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I need to stop coming to work sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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