Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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