I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
