How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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