Having a random hookup so left but love u
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
