I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
