Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Found the puke drawer
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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