would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
