Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
