its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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