Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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