if you like me you must not know who I am
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Success! We fucked roommates!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
